Sometimes I flipping hate fudging fudge. I have a shameful secret: I can be terrible at making fudge. Grainy, gritty, greasy. I’m the master of splitting, splashing, separating. How is it possible that I can make terrific fudge at times and then…total disaster?

When I decided to make a blog about baking I had two main thoughts. First, I was bored. And second, there are so many websites, blogs, and tutorials dedicated to baking, but none that are very truthful. You only see beautiful recipes and perfect results. I never found one website that reveals how many expletives that are uttered in the kitchen when things turn sour. Or how many times it took for that person to master a recipe.

When I started blogging with the intent to post truthful experiences, I started out by both trying recipes and creating others. I was going to document all the progress as I learn to bake new dishes and show some classics along the way. Teach others to learn through my mistakes. Despite this idea, I felt internal pressure to always show nice photos and good recipes. It’s embarrassing to show mistakes. Sometimes they look, well gross. But I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback on mistakes I’ve made, what I learned from them and how to correct errors along the way. So, welcome to my rambling raging rant about rancid fudge!

So what do you do if you keep failing at a recipe? First, see if you can salvage anything. Can you make a cake, cookies, ice cream topping with remains? For instance, I often find I can make cookies from fudge that aren’t bad at all. If nothing can be salvaged, go ahead and rant a little or even cry if you like. But pick yourself up and try again. I’ve learned to thank God for my ability to learn something new and tell myself that the wasted ingredients will feed all kinds of hungry critters that visit the landfills. It makes me giggle imagining one fellow bug saying to another “What in the world did Sara do to this fudge?” Only to be replied with “I don’t know, but it tastes great even if it’s a right mess.”

Another thing I like to do when things go wrong is to come up with silly phrases. I flipping hate fudging fudge. I call this “Happy Baking.”

Finally, seek outside help. After reading countless recipes and watching videos, if you are still struggling, try to talk to someone about it. If you are lucky, you may be able to find someone locally who is good at making what you are struggling with and talk to them. If not, message your favorite baker. I’ve done that many times over the years and received a lot of help. I recommend looking for the smaller channels or ones with good response rates to comments. The giant ones are so inundated with emails and comments, you may not even get a reply due to the the fact they just don’t have enough time in the day.

I had resigned myself to not being able to make good peanut butter fudge and bought some from a local baker for a fund raiser. I asked her for help. She spent over an hour talking to me and we discovered I’m cooking the sugar at too high of a temperature. It turns out it was my new fancy thermometer. Turns out, softball stage was reading at 232F (111C.) I was relying too much on it and not on skill and technique. I was rushing the process because of physical pain in my shoulder which was causing the sugar to sneak up the sides of the pan and recrystallize.

Basically, you have to remember first and foremost: this is sugar syrup. Slow and steady dissolving of the sugar in the beginning wins the race. And in the end, you need to be attentive. Watch for the bubbling to slow and sugar syrup to begin thickening. Use the cold water test as a second set of eyes, not just rely on a thermometer. Look for that syrup to be thick and firm as it hits cool water.

On the plus side, I met a new friend. And finding out there was nothing wrong with my recipe was the most rewarding experience. Sometimes, it’s equipment failure. Sometimes, it’s the recipe. Other times it’s you. But how else do you learn in the kitchen except by doing?